Euphemism

I prefer talking to the dead.
The alive just don't have time for me.
Of course, I only call it "talking".

Post Mortem

But quick reflexes can save your life more often.
I could try telling that to the stalactite.
But the dead can't talk.


PS: And stalactites can't listem

For he's a jolly good fellow

Infact, most sympathised with the Bereaved family and agreed that it would've been better if nobody had died.
You can't always get what you want.
But why, oh why, did it have to be young Jack Bereaved?