Up, Up and Away

I was watching Bombay just yesterday.
It looks beautiful from so high up.
Google Earth is a wonderful piece of software

Bombay

Engineers have no sense of humour.
The world does.
I was watching 'Bombay' just yesterday.

P.S- Everybody please stay put indoors whereever you are for a while. Keep watching news.

Two functions walked into the bar...

"No, I am afraid that's a tangent."
She bared her teeth, hoping he would laugh at her math joke.
Engineers have no sense of humour.

Degrees of Madness

Of course, I only call it "talking".
Even so, I wonder if that's normal.
No, I am afraid that's a tangent.

Euphemism

I prefer talking to the dead.
The alive just don't have time for me.
Of course, I only call it "talking".

Look who's talking

But the dead can't talk.
Neither can walls, bars, sun, moon, stars, trees, posters, babies, shy people.
I prefer talking to the dead.

P.S- We are morbidly fascinated by death somehow, 75% of the blog is about death! :P

Post Mortem

But quick reflexes can save your life more often.
I could try telling that to the stalactite.
But the dead can't talk.


PS: And stalactites can't listem

Die Furher Die

"That is true," said He, and smote the man with a twitch of the little finger.
Being able to see the future is a cool power to have.
But quick reflexes can save your life more often.

The End is Nigh

"In the end, it really doesn't matter, because in the long run we are all dead."
Suddenly, the clouds parted, the skies split up, and there appeared the face of God.
"That is true," said He, and smote the man with a twitch of the little finger.

The Long Run

"This looks like a job for Agent Dubbloseven!"
"Pshaw! Dubblosix is a much better choice if we are to save millions and also bring a smile to their faces!"
In the end, it really doesn't matter, because in the long run we are all dead.


I take one of the first liberties with the rules - Dubbloseven == 007.

Shaken, not stirred

"Turns out that The Secret is using Nothing."
"HMS The Secret is using HMS Nothing for illegal trade?!
This looks like a job for Agent 007!"


I'm sorry - I'm stuck on Bond!

Victoria's Secret

"Concealed microfilm received"
In the microfilm lay hidden all of victoria's secrets.
Turns out that the secret is using - nothing!

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

He did actually flush his underwear down the loo.
James Bond then flicked open his cell-phone and read the SMS out loud.
"Concealed microfilm received."

Really?

Then, again, maybe I'm mistaken.
No, you're not.
He did actually flush his underwear down the loo.

Why so serious?

"Maybe Ashton Kutcher can help me."
"He does seem more suited to play Joker than Heath Ledger," said Nolan.
"Then, again, maybe I'm mistaken."

Chaos

I never should have married an accountant.
I never should have faked my bank statements or had a joint account with her or hired that lawyer or run over the judge's dog or forgotten to pick up the kids from school.
Maybe Ashton Kutcher can help me.

A Man of Figures

"I wonder how many lives blogging has claimed so far."
"Forty three thousand seven hundred and eighty four."
I never should have married an accountant.

Beware of Blog

Cigarette smoking is injurious to health.
Addictions are usually so.
I wonder how many lives blogging has claimed so far.

A puff of smoke

They both can go *poof* without warning.
The lungs, I mean.
Cigarette smoking is injurious to health.

Poof

There really are no limits to what plastic surgery can achieve these days.
It's the stuff dreams are are made of - strikingly similar infact.
They both can go *poof* without warning.

Black and White and Bled all over

But she's come this far and to quote another governor, she will be back.
I meant 'black'.
There really are no limits to what plastic surgery can achieve these days.


Oi! Stop Giving me ugly starting lines!

My Fair Lady

Except when she starts talking nonsense.
Which is difficult to prevent, as her job requires her to speak.
But she's come this far and to quote another governor, she will be back.

Bah!

"And Fate too wears Prada."
Personification is fun.
Except when she's starts talking nonsense.

Do you wear Prada?

But why, oh why, did it have to be young Jack Bereaved?
Fate.
And Fate too wears Prada.

For he's a jolly good fellow

Infact, most sympathised with the Bereaved family and agreed that it would've been better if nobody had died.
You can't always get what you want.
But why, oh why, did it have to be young Jack Bereaved?

Nobody should've died

Nobody wept for him.
Nobody was in reality cold-hearted and impolite.
Infact, most sympathised with the bereaved family and agreed that it would've been better if Nobody had died.

All's end, is an end well end

And All wasn't well.
Then one day, All died.
Nobody wept for him.

All's well that ends well?

"I hate stories that end inconclusively," said Beth.*

With purpose she set out to show em how it's done and wrote seven books, packing into the last one as much conclusion as one possibly could.

And all wasn't well.

*name changed to avoid defamation suits and so that you can potter about trying to guess exactly what I'm getting at if anything at all

Apocalypse Now

However, the mating habits explain how Shane Warne got that nickname in some circles.

The End.

"I hate stories that end inconclusively," said Beth.

A Spin Off

The mating habits and religious beliefs of the 'preying man-tis' are a mystery for one and all.
One, and all, aren't exactly sure how the religious beliefs are of any importance.
However, the mating habits explain how Shane Warne got that nickname in some circles.

Prey for your Life

Subsequently their heads were chopped off, and they all went to heaven.
Subsequently, that is, to the sexual intercourse.
The mating habits and religious beliefs of the preying mantis are a mystery for one and all.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

And the war would have gone on forever, had the kitchen sink not intervened.
Every dirty slime ball from both the sides deserted their vessels.
Subsequently their heads were chopped off, and they all went to heaven.

Hook, Line and Sink

He stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
The cookie jar stole his underpants from him.
And the war would have gone on forever, had the kitchen sink not intervened.

The Gods must be crazy

HE did.
Incredulous though it seemed, after generations of sleuthing the mystery was finally resolved and conclusion reached unanimously.
HE stole the cookies from the cookie jar.